Running
Ten students in track and field passed by yesterday. I hadn't seen them before.
When childhood sucks, you run. Literally. Figuratively. In High school, I ran long distance in between babysitting after school. Absent more than half the time, I never developed much endurance compared to teammates. At the time, that is what I thought. Looking back, I realize I did pretty good.
When I look back on this hydrocephalus / brain tumor recovery time, I think I will conclude that I developed some endurance. To endure and to have endurance are not quite the same. And while I have endured some hardships, I haven't felt that I actually possess endurance. But now I know I do.
Walking to downtown, less than a mile away is a marathon. (Doing it twice in two days is an ironman.) Watching a movie requires me to practice focussing for over an hour, patiently. The sequestration, while self-imposed in the past, may drive me mad. Speaking of driving, I can't. Maybe I should have clarified this at the beginning of the blog. Maybe my doctors might have told me I wouldn't be able to walk or climb the stairs. Maybe it is good that they didn't let on to this handicapped phase. Whatever. Staying in the house is giving me staying power. I can manage the empty time with writing, cooking, tidying, plant care, and a bit of Netflix. I am courageous. I've got some pluck. I might even consider myself a badass. My daughter told me I am cool.
I referred above to running literally and figuratively. The figurative running has to do with me moving far away from my family and the place I grew up. From Connecticut to California. From Ivy league to uneducated creativity. From four seasons to unrelenting sun. From rural grassland to concrete and stucco. Rolling hills to granite monoliths. From the familiar to the extreme.
California living, from an east coast perspective, is unjustified. Why should someone who did not go to college be a huge success? How dare the sun be everpresent when people are huddled under umbrellas for half the year? How can there be skiing and beach within an hour's drive? Why is rent more than the mortgage on a family home? Why does the grass have to be watered? What did I pay for car registration?! In the court case of Is Hannah's life in California Justified, Her Family in Connecticut contends the contrary. Even the defendant, at times, wavers.
Unhappy with my childhood, I ran west like the earliest railroad or the covered wagons of pioneers. It takes a lot to live in this rugged terrain. I needed the dry and the wind and the drought and the fires and the floods and the rare moment of lush green after an unexpected rain. I needed these things to build endurance so I could endure this illness.
When childhood sucks, you run. Literally. Figuratively. In High school, I ran long distance in between babysitting after school. Absent more than half the time, I never developed much endurance compared to teammates. At the time, that is what I thought. Looking back, I realize I did pretty good.
When I look back on this hydrocephalus / brain tumor recovery time, I think I will conclude that I developed some endurance. To endure and to have endurance are not quite the same. And while I have endured some hardships, I haven't felt that I actually possess endurance. But now I know I do.
Walking to downtown, less than a mile away is a marathon. (Doing it twice in two days is an ironman.) Watching a movie requires me to practice focussing for over an hour, patiently. The sequestration, while self-imposed in the past, may drive me mad. Speaking of driving, I can't. Maybe I should have clarified this at the beginning of the blog. Maybe my doctors might have told me I wouldn't be able to walk or climb the stairs. Maybe it is good that they didn't let on to this handicapped phase. Whatever. Staying in the house is giving me staying power. I can manage the empty time with writing, cooking, tidying, plant care, and a bit of Netflix. I am courageous. I've got some pluck. I might even consider myself a badass. My daughter told me I am cool.
I referred above to running literally and figuratively. The figurative running has to do with me moving far away from my family and the place I grew up. From Connecticut to California. From Ivy league to uneducated creativity. From four seasons to unrelenting sun. From rural grassland to concrete and stucco. Rolling hills to granite monoliths. From the familiar to the extreme.
California living, from an east coast perspective, is unjustified. Why should someone who did not go to college be a huge success? How dare the sun be everpresent when people are huddled under umbrellas for half the year? How can there be skiing and beach within an hour's drive? Why is rent more than the mortgage on a family home? Why does the grass have to be watered? What did I pay for car registration?! In the court case of Is Hannah's life in California Justified, Her Family in Connecticut contends the contrary. Even the defendant, at times, wavers.
Unhappy with my childhood, I ran west like the earliest railroad or the covered wagons of pioneers. It takes a lot to live in this rugged terrain. I needed the dry and the wind and the drought and the fires and the floods and the rare moment of lush green after an unexpected rain. I needed these things to build endurance so I could endure this illness.
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